To all the barking Pavlov-dogs,

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There’s jews, muslims, catholics, protestants, buddhists, baptists (and so forth) in Holland. And God forbid, there’s women with an opinion. All kinds of opinions. Not just the mouths you choose (or pay) to have an ‘opinion’ that suits your agenda. Get used to it. If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.

If you’re that sick and tired of being sick and tired of people with different belief systems with your tedious hashtagwars going back and forth like a broken record, go some place else and be sick and tired. Apparently you don’t have what it takes to have a normal conversation with “andersdenkenden”.

And these idiots that attack and kill people do not kill people with their disclaimer prophet, because he doesn’t exist, he’s an idea, just like our God used to be a bad idea. People get killed by guns, by trucks, by bombs, and stuff like that. Not by the imaginary friends in someone else’s psyche. Get your head out of your arses already.

Van Gogh was killed by an idiot (followed by AIVD mind you), Fortuyn was killed by an idiot, Borst was killed by an idiot, and somehow these idiots managed to slip through the cracks of our “system”. But it took a whole lot of people who weren’t paying attention to pull it off, right? So how about keeping it together, instead of setting your hair on fire, when someone says something you don’t want to hear. Or someone else’s hair, for that matter. What the fuck is your problem?

For God’s sake. If a client asks me to create tweets for his new business idea, to make a real and lasting change in the specific care district, I have to tell him: No. Twitter is a goddamn warzone and you’re not going to use it. Because if you somehow get caught in one of these hashtagwars, you’re dead. The most important international food community won’t use Twitter to share ideas for the same reason. It’s even in the communication code. “Don’t engage in any debates.” Is that crazy or what? Because this issue matters. Food, people!

So, what the fuck is wrong with you people using the most important and advanced network tool ever to create new communities and share ideas and have normal conversations as a medieval arena to fight the fights you’re not brave enough to take up at home. I was able to use Twitter in 2010 for my business. In 2016, it’s shrapnel city. Go fuck yourselves!

Take charge of your communicating skills and read into what anyone with a different set of views on life is actually saying. There’s plenty of books on the subject. Read. Preferrably with your mouth shut, TV off and Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat and Periscope on mute. Who cares what the neighbours are having for dinner anyway? And everyone on the globe already knows Kardashian’s butt is the size of a whale. So where’s the news?

And whenever anyone says anything you think is wack, you go: “Well, yeah, but that’s your opinion man.” And that’s it. Because the Dutch law is the fucking Dutch law. Everyone is equal. You dig?

And for god’s sake get a hold of yourself already. Are “they” claiming what’s inside your fridge? Are “they” forcing you to procreate? Are “they” telling you to get married to someone you don’t love? Are “they” blocking your view?

Are “they” peeking into your psyche with some highly advanced laser device and secretly reading into your sexual fantasies? Are “they” stumping through your backyard like elephants and ruining your Japanese design? Are “they” dancing on your beloved’s graves?

Are the answers to the questions above “no”? Then what’s your actual problem right this fucking moment. What is your problem right now. Think hard. Eventually you will come to the conclusion that there is no problem unless you create one in another science fictional future time zone.

This is Holland and we all live by the goddamn Dutch law. Read into it. It’s great stuff. We don’t stone women to death, we don’t do public beatings, we don’t flog on Friday, we don’t throw women into dungeons for marrying the love of their life, no. Apart from the rats in the kitchen, we kind of act normal.

All we do here is steal sons from working mothers who say: ‘Hey, what’s up dude, can you deliver what I’m paying taxes for?’ Or: ‘Hey, can you kind of leave me alone when I’m working?’ People who steal kids are nazi’s. And, by God, they’re not even muslims. They’re Dutch! So, go find them and schlepp their bullshit through the Twitterstreets. I’ll sure as hell join you. When I’m done working.

But in the meantime, keep barking in the direction of an imaginary enemy, put people who always agree with you on speed dial, don’t listen to common sense, beat around the beaver bush, and by all means, shut the door to society. There’s all kinds of spooky people at every street corner. See ya!

Schelden doet u thuis ook niet

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